Short Plays

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Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 3 Males; 3 Females

Length: 15-20 minutes

When not one talented student auditions for this year’s talent show, it is up to the faculty and staff to carry the torch! Hilarious moments include Mrs. Belcher, the lead cafeteria lady, reciting an original poem entitled “Mashed Potatoes”; Mr. Yield, the school bus driver, performing a dramatic monologue inspired by Marsha Norman’s Pulitzer-Prize winning play, ‘Night Mother, entitled ‘Night Children; and Mr. Bates, the custodian, singing a song about school sanitation. This is one talent show you don’t want to miss!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: Up to 11 Males (Doubling is permissible)

Length: 25-30 minutes

B My Name Is Bob is a celebration of all things manly. Through a series of eight scenes, we pay tribute to the trials and tribulations of masculinity—as we ask the rhetorical question, “What does it mean to be a ‘man’ in the new millennium?”

Written by Shannon Cartwright | $10.00

Comedy: Up to 10 Females (Doubling is permissible)

Length: 20-25 minutes

Through a series of five humorous, yet at times, poignant scenes, we examine the bonds and friendships of women from two young teenage cheerleaders to two elderly women enjoying their twilight years in a retirement home.

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 6 Males; 5 Females

Length: 30-40 minutes

Bobby Joe and Bruce are next door neighbors. They’re like brothers. They’re also partners in crime; however, they are something of an anomaly in the con artist’s world, because they refuse to tell a lie to those they are scamming. Through a series of bizarre coincidences, the two embark on their most ambitious scheme yet. They create a popular tourist attraction for Bruce: The Real Live Ghost! After all, people need something to believe in!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 4 Males; 2 Females; 2 Gender-Neutral

Length: 30-40 minutes

Each year, thousands of parents pack up their children and send them to “specialized” summer camps; however, do these “camps” deliver everything the brochures promise? This is the rhetorical question Gregory T. Burns asks in his satire of obscure summer camps. Filled with zany characters and a few twists and turns, this one-act comedy is a tour-de-force for the theatre department looking for something different!

Written by Bridget Grace Sheaff | $10.00

Comedy: 2 Males; 4 Females

Length: 20-25 minutes

Meet Danny McMahon, an intellectual middle-school student with a natural gift for learning geography. Recently, he also started a video blog, or VLOG, on the World Wide Web. When his best friend, Betsy, encourages him to enter Joe Biden Middle School's first ever Map-A-Thon, otherwise known as a geography match, could this be an opportunity for Danny to embarrass the school bully and his personal arch nemesis, Hector Kurkowski, in front of the entire student body? Tune into Danny's How-To VLOG to find out!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 7 Males; 2 Females; 4 Gender-Neutral

Length: 30-40 minutes

Election Day is a political satire of epic proportions. Through a series of scenes, playwright, Gregory T. Burns takes us to the future, where Democrats and Republicans no longer exist. Instead, a plethora of new political parties campaign for their candidate to be the next President of the United States.

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 4 Males; 2 Females; 1 Gender-Neutral

Length: 25-30 minutes

Family gatherings are often filled with high-spirited anxiety. What begins as a typical Thanksgiving celebration soon turns into a nightmare as Shelby, a young newlywed, meets her husband’s family for the very first time. Throw in a case of temporary blindness, an allergic reaction to corn, and an over-excited pet named Corndog, and it’s easy to understand why sometimes, even during a special holiday such as Thanksgiving, the thing we are most thankful for—is that it only comes once a year!

Written by Gregory T. Burns and Bryan Denbow | $10.00

Comedy Spoof: 6 Males; 6 Females; 2 Gender-Neutral

Length: 35-40 minutes

All the fun of the original 1950’s show set in ancient Greece!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 3 Males; 3 Females; 1 Gender-Neutral

Length: 25-30 minutes

When an oddball assortment of new clients shows up for their first group therapy session, it soon becomes apparent to the psychiatrist that there is a reason behind the group’s collective depression. Halloween, after all, only comes once a year. A spook-tacular comedy!

Written by Bryan Denbow | $10.00

Comedy: 9 Males; 7 Females; 2 Gender-Neutral

Length: 25-30 minutes

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, there’s a new threat terrorizing Shark Island! Gums is a hilarious satire of the iconic Stephen Spielberg classic film, Jaws!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 7 Females

Length: 20-25 minutes

When a group of Catholic school girls are given the assignment of presenting an oral book report on someone famous, most of the girls choose Miley Cyrus or the Jonas Brothers; however, one young girl thinks outside the box and chooses Marie Antoinette. This one-act comedy makes a strong point for those in search of the truth: Not everything printed on the Internet is true.

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 3 females; 1 male; 3 either

Length: 15-20 minutes

Most children have big dreams of becoming famous someday. For Rebecca Fortinbras, her dream is about to become a reality.. While the character Rebecca is the heroine of this darkly, humorous play, she is actually represented by two personalities: Becky, a five-year-old kindergartener, and Rebecca, her alter-ego, which, of course, is more than knowledgeable and mature decades beyond her years!

Written by Manuel Montez and Kassandra Ortiz | $10.00

Drama: 4 Males; 2 Gender-Neutral

Length: 20-25 minutes

In recent years, human trafficking has become a global crisis. In this explosive and haunting play, we are introduced to Nicolás Portillo and Eliseo Alvarado, two young men, whose dream of crossing the border into America is their last hope for a better future. It is the story of desperation, dreams, and ultimately, the desire and willingness to risk everything to cross that “invisible line.”

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy with Fantasy Dream Sequences: 4 Males; 3 Females

Length: 15-20 minutes

Do you believe in reincarnation? When a young girl named Judy enters a psychiatrist’s office and recounts a series of bizarre dreams, the doctor soon becomes convinced that the late-great star of The Wizard of Oz, Judy Garland, is trying to inhabit the young girl’s body and make a come-back! Or is she?

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy Spoof: 4 Males; 6 Females (Extra roles are possible)

Length: 35-40 minutes

One of the most haunting musicals in the world is Les Misérables. Victor Hugo’s masterpiece set to music embodies the plight of a people overcoming adversity during the harshest of times. As the times change, however, so do the words! If you like the musical, you will love this satirical play!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 2 Males; 8 Females

Length: 30-35 minutes

Inspired by the tens of thousands of theatrical productions mounted across the country each year that, for lack of a nicer word, are less than stellar, Malcolm X. Jefferson Elementary Proudly Presents a Fifth-Grade Production of A Chorus Line pays tribute to the countless hours spent creating magic on stage during the rehearsal process. This sequel to The 17th Annual Malcolm X. Jefferson Elementary Talent Show brings new characters and story lines to the stage. This humorous satire takes a unique look at one of America’s most beloved musicals of all-time, A Chorus Line, by having a group of fifth-graders take on the challenging material. Hysterical!

Written by Bryan Denbow | $10.00

Comedy Spoof: 1 Male; 3 Females; 3 Gender-Neutral

Length: 25-30 minutes

Inspired by the film, Mommie Dearest, this explosive comedy takes a satiric look at the life of a Hollywood star and her adopted daughter.

Written by Jennifer Riley and James Killmurry | $10.00

Comedy: 7 Males; 4 Females; 2 Gender-Neutral

Length: 20-25 minutes

This hysterical contemporary satire, inspired by the film, The Hunger Games, introduces us to Dogniss Everclear, a young girl, who volunteers for the arduous task of representing Area 12 in the 35th Annual fight-to-the-death, The Muchies Games. Laugh-out-loud funny!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 5 Males

Length: 25-30 minutes

When a group of raccoon hunters decide to put on a play as a fund-raiser, the results are tragic enough to have William Shakespeare rolling over in his grave—in stitches! Think Duck Dynasty does live-outdoor theatre!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Dark Comedy: 3 Males; 3 Females

Length: 30-35 minutes

Written as a satiric documentary, Bill Armstrong (with his strong arms) interviews a myriad of office workers, who warn America of the secret dangers hidden in their Cubical Paradise!  This is the perfect comedy for actors who can take it over-the-top! 

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 9 Males; 5 Females; 7 Gender-Neutral (Doubling is permissible)

Length: 30-35 minutes

They’re cute. They’re cuddly. They’re also the latest plague! In his rapid-fire satire, playwright Gregory T. Burns examines the chaos that ensues when rabbits ravage our nation!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 5 Males; 2 Females; 3 Gender-Neutral Roles

Length: 20-25 minutes

This clever retelling of The Ugly Duckling is an easy-to-produce, hilarious version of the classic tale with a modern twist!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 2 Males; 6 Females; 1 Gender-Neutral

Length: 20-25 minutes

When the two classroom hamsters are missing, no one seems to care. With her love for Blue’s Clues and Nancy Drew, it is up to Sally Smart to solve this mystery! After all, who needs the Hardy Boys to do a young girl’s job? Clever and funny!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 2 Males, 2 Females

Length: 20-25 minutes

Two freshmen in high school. Two fish in a classroom aquarium. One very observant comedy about how different genders and species communicate with one another.

Written By Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 14 Females; 1 Gender-Neutral (Doubling is possible)

Length: 25-30 minutes

This hilarious mockumentary takes us behind the scenes of America’s favorite guilty pleasure—beauty pageants!

Written by Bryan Denbow | $10.00

Comedy: 3 Females; 4 Gender-Neutral

Length: 25-30 minutes

It’s a big day on Sunflower Street! Erma and Molly, two puppets, decide to ask Sesame Street's two most eligible bachelors, Bert and Ernie, to the big Sadie Hawkins Dance!

Written by Bryan Denbow | $10.00

Comedy: 2-8 Gender-Neutral Roles

Length: 25-30 minutes

It's another big day on Sunflower Street and Molly has decided to run for Mayor! Will she win? Tune in to find out!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 5 Males; 3 Females

Length: 20-25 minutes

Throughout history there have been many famous Napoleons: Napoleon Bonaparte; Napoleon Dynamite; and now Napoleon, the young man obsessed with remote-controlled cars!

Written by Sandy Maranto and Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Drama with humor: 2 Males; 1 Female. 1 Gender-Neutral

Length: 30-35 minutes

When two teenagers, both coincidentally named Jordan, meet as counselors at a summer camp, their lives are forever changed once they learn they are going to be parents. Thirty Minutes with Julie takes a poignant look at two very mature subjects: Teenage pregnancy and adoption. The catalyst of this play lies in the choice the two must make for the sake of their unborn child. Written with humor and warmth, this play is a superb acting vehicle for two mature performers!

Written by Jake Barton | $10.00

Drama: 1 Male; 3 Gender-Neutral

Length: 15-20 minutes

While a young man lies in a coma at a hospital, his parents must make the most difficult decision of their lives. This surrealistic short play will leave the audience thinking long after the last words have been spoken.

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Dark Comedy: 3 Males; 3 Females

Length: 30-35 minutes

Everyone loves a good story, and perhaps no one has the ability to make a story even more sensationalistic than primetime news journalists. In this mature, over-the-top satire, we take a bird’s-eye view of a fictitious primetime news program, Timeline’s Primetime Special, whose primary goal is to boost ratings by capitalizing on the misfortune of others. Very funny!

Written by Gregory T. Burns | $10.00

Comedy: 4 Males; 3 Females

Length: 20-25 minutes

This darkly-comic, environmental satire asks the rhetorical question, “How far would you go to save a tree?”

Written by Various Authors| $10.00

Drama and Comedy: Mixed genres of literature for Males and Females

Length: Five selections that vary from 2-4 minutes each.

This short collection of Program Builders is a perfect ending for 2020 and a perfect starting point for those performers looking to build a strong program of literature around a specific topic. This debut issue features several never before published authors whose short works would be a welcome addition to any POI, Reader's Theatre or Poetry Program. This debut issue includes selections and poetry focusing on the issues/topics of: Communication (or lack thereof); Alzheimer's disease; Corona Virus/Covid-19; Men owning up to their responsibilities; and Equality in Education.